im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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