If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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