epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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