omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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