Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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