can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
