this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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