also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
