I got chris browned last night
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
