Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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