Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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