You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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