marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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