I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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