saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i was born a porn star she said
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
