Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
