Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we should paint friendship bongs
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