theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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