She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
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I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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