two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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