you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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