New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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