If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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