You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
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No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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