I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
