Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
