Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
