By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
