I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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