just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize