omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
