whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
