Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
