my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
