I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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