I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
