Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
