can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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