I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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