This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
