therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
