Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
