They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I am available for nakedness
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
