You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize