I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
