everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
