I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
