my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
