PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Text me some of your sweat
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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