I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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