I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
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He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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