Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
