just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
