Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
