You can't special order awesome
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
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So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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