I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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