i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
