I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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