the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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