We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
