I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
