I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just had sex on a roof
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
