awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
