It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
