i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She bit a glass in half.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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