How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
