Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
