You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
