oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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