I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
