the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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