3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
